Message Received From
by AspieSays
Summary: Featuring Ten, Jack, Donna and Martha  and sometimes a telepathic lizard and a bored Master, minus drumming . Texts to and from.
1. Chapter 1

Jack for goodness sake, stop leaving the door open slightly, the lizard will escape.

Jack! Where the hell are you? THIS IS WHY I SHOULD GO FOR FOOD, or Donna, or Martha. ANYONE BUT YOU.

JACK? HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE?

If it was you taking pictures of me asleep I'm sending the lizard your way when it's angry or hungry, Harkness.

WHO ATE ALL MY BISCUITS?

Oi, don't shout, and it wasn't me.

Okay, fine. Sorry to bother you Donna. Don't use too much hot water.

I knocked them off and the dog ate them. Sorry. You should put them in cupboard.

If you didn't label stuff the night shift steal them all, if I recall. I looked like a right loon, 'ONE CUSTARD CREAM IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?'

- M x

I KNOW RIGHT!

I hated being a temp, people think they can eat your stuff because 'you don't actually really work here!' BASTARDS. I already stole those sandwiches from Gramps that day aswell.

EXCUSE ME? CAN YOU SEND THOSE MANUALLY, MARTHA, I can't follow this conversation. WHAT IS THIS? WHY DOESN'T SOMEONE ACTUALLY COME IN AND TALK TO ME AND ENTERTAIN THIS BLOODY LIZARD?

AND THE DOG.

Jack- STOP. EATING. MY. CHOCOLATE.

Sorry, I'm really bored.

JACK GET MORE BISCUITS. LOADS OF DIFFERENT ONES.

'ENTERTAIN THIS BLOODY LIZARD?' Is that a euphemism? Hey, I'm only one man, I'm coming.

WHY THE HELL DID YOU FORWARD THAT TO JACK, CAN I ASK, MISS JONES?

Because it's funny?

He's having a right tantrum in there, Martha, eh?

Ha! I know right? It's only half serious. Where are you?

Bath.

Oh, sounds good.

There's more than one.

I know, I'm fine for now.

Ew, you're going to have a bath with him later aren't you?

Don't be daft! How the hell would we fit?

Yeah, I believe you...

Besides, showers are easier to work with.

...

JACK! HURRY UP! MOVE! ALLONS-Y etc.

HEY LOOK I GOT THE TRANS-UNIVERSE LINE ON! Hello, Jack!

HOW ARE YOU, BUDDY?

It's the Doctor. Amy says hi. Rory's...asleep.

Careful, the other one might get jealous - Jack

Oh, flirting already? Ew.


	2. Chapter 2

Where'd you go?

-

Oh sorry, we went to get the junk food. Sorry, I thought you knew.

-

No.

-

Sorry!

-

What if I wanted to come?

-

This is a joke, right?

Yes, but you thought it wasn't for a second!

-

(Something rude in French.)

-

(Rolls eyes.)

GET DESSERTS WITH MEAL.

-

Two for you?

-

No, I've suddenly changed my eating habits without telling you! Yes, get two.

And why French?

-

You like French.

-

(Hugs.)

Oh, and Jack just made a stupid joke about that didn't he? Tell him I could out-French him any day, and would he like a demonstration?

-

This is much more fun that actual phone calls!


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Notes:

The Doctor still has an arch-nemesis, but the stakes are a lot smaller. (See my bio for what I did with the Master, whom I somewhat awkwardly call Drumming Removed!Master. Subtle!)

Hello, everyone. Seriously- STOP. EATING. THE BISCUITS. I'm not sure who this was you I'm contact anyone who's ever set foot in here recently.

-

Sorry, I took them to work.

-

Don't you have person to get some for you, or you know BUY YOUR OWN, MR BUSINESSMAN. ASK FIRST!

-

It was funny.

-

Oh, hilarious.

-

HAHA I AM THE WORLD'S GREATEST FOOD STEALER.

-

How the hell are you a CEO of ANYTHING?

They let you fly a TARDIS.

-

Go to hell, Koschei.


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Notes:

Other fandom alert.

Could you get some food for Alonso?

-

What does he eat?

-

Get some salads or something.

-

Alright. Is the dog alright for food?

-

Yes. Oh and we're out of biscuits.

-

Never.

-

Always.

-

I know it's you. Stop making excuses.

-

Fine then, it's me/biscuits from now on.

-

Get off the Internet.

-

You too, I saw that me/Alonso thing.

-

That was Donna!

-

If it was tell her I ship her/Alonso. He does.

What else do you ship?

-

Jack/anything and Koshei/stupid jokes- by the way, if you ship Harry/Hermione you're not allowed in here again. No, I'm joking.

Don't go on the Internet.

-

All to their own. Free ships, man, free ships.


	5. Chapter 5

Martha.

-

Martha.

-

I can see you.

-

I have sweets.

-

Jack says hi.

-

I'm...I'm really sorry about that, I'm really bored. I've gone now. Tell your sister hi.


	6. Chapter 6

STOP EATING THE BISCUITS.

-

That thing with the tie was a good idea.

-

I'll order a proper blindfold.

-

I feel like gouging my eyes out.

-

Sorry, Donna, I used the call history and sent it to the wrong person.

-

I guess we're gonna pretend this didn't happen then.

Stop eating my biscuits.

That's what I thought.


	7. Chapter 7

Donna

_Alonso_

**The Doctor**

Jack

_Koschei (underlined)_

Donna's phone bleeped.

Alonso was being telepathic again.

_Help me_, the text read.

Donna was sure he was being dramatic.

-What?

_-Please help me. I can hear them. Please. I can hear things. Ew._

-What am I supposed to do, not even in the same time at the moment. Run further away.

_-Yes, that would be logical._

**-Thanks for telling me the bloody lizard can communicate telepathically, Donna. Cheers.**

-He told me not to tell you, and he's perfectly nice and, it's here to protect us, apparently.

**-See how you like it.**

**-It's me, you idiot. Telepathic lizards, whatever.**

-But I was right there once and it was talking to me. Don't call me names.

_-I can see you..._

-What?

**-On a screen, silly. Hi!**

-Wait until I get my hands on you!

**-Martha didn't know either. Ha, ha, ha- Guardian. Like 'Black Guardian'? Ha, remember that story? It sounds Time Lord-ish. Ha.**

-I'm gonna kill you.

**-Go away.**

**-Only some of it was me, the lizard is telepathic**.

-You're dead.

-Ha.

**-OI! D'YOU THINK YOU'RE FUNNY, JACKY BOY, HUH? DO YOU?**

-I'm guessing she yelled then.

**-Of course she did, scared me to death, had no idea what she was talking about. Brilliant though, I have to say.**

_-Jack, this is a friend of the Doctor's, whom he has asked to bombard you with messages in revenge even though he thought it was a good joke. Good day._

_-Jack._

_-Jack._

_-Jack._

-Make him stop, he's been doing this for ten hours now.

**-Last time you mess with me. Was funny though.**

_-Jack._

_-Jack_

_-Jack._

_-I like you._

_-Jack._

-Make him stop!

**-DON'T YOU THINK I'VE TRIED? Leave it, he'll get bored.**

-Please? I have other stuff to do with this phone, you know.

**-If you insist.**

_-Theta. I can see you._

_-I see you._

_-I see you._

**-Nice one Jack, cheers.**

**-Once again, go to hell, Koschei.**

_-This is quite entertaining._

**-Do your job.**

_-(monitors cleaning franchise)_

**-Oh, ha, ha, ha.**

Martha jumped, as there was a strangled yell behind her, and a mobile phone was thrown across the room.


	8. Chapter 8

-Donna

_-Martha_

What happened to all the chocolate? Nice stuff that. Surely you've not eaten it all between you!

-

_No, it got melted._

-

What?

-

_Melted. _

-

Oh, be right back; rinsing brain clean again.

- 

_Ha._


	9. Chapter 9

_-The Doctor_

-Guess Who

Hello sexy

-

_Who is this?_

-

Not telling you.

_I don't have the number in the phone and I'm not in the TARDIS. Could you cut this short and tell me who it is?_

_I know its not Martha- she's right here and she's more subtle._

-  
><strong><br>**I see you.

_Oh, go away, Koschei, and use one number consistently._

-

Four-some?

_NO!_

-

Ouch, I was only asking.

_Right._

I see you.

I see you.

"Martha- he won't stop. He just... he won't stop..."

"Stop being a baby. Just get another number...and if you say 'I like this one...' I swear I'm gonna..."

"Fine, whatever!"

"Seriously! Little busy here, love- Alonso's teeth are embedded in Donna's finger."

"Reall_-lll_y? Is it bad?"

"You actually sound happy."

"But I'm missing it...argh! _Donna_! Martha, she's kicking!"

"Baby! Go glory in someone else's injuries, 'Doctor'!"

"Mean!"


	10. Chapter 10

-Koschei

-_The Doctor _

-**Martha**

-Donna

I'm bored.

-

_Get an games console for your office._

-

That's practical (!) How the hell do you console a game?

-

_Like an Xbox 360 or something? You know, video games?_

-

Oh! Of course! Emma has one of those.

-

_Then I can come over and kick your arse._

Bring it on.

**Have you seen the Doctor?**

He's at Koschei's work, they're playing video games, I think, the Master got a new console.

-

**Oh, I see, I'll dig mine out, fancy a game?**

You have an Xbox?

-

**Yes- and a DS and a Playstation 3. Why?**

-

No wonder he likes you.


End file.
